Best Behavior Hero 2

Choice Words

I’m not big on Facebook, and I really try to stay clear of politics. But I decided to post my support for one of the presidential candidates last week. I was alarmed to see all the anger that I stirred up. A lot of people said they liked the post, but then, other friends shocked me by weighing in against me. My daughter piled on, and then, others, whom I barely know, piled in on her. I was embarrassed by the whole experience. I really was trying to be nice and careful about what I said. I believe in the First Amendment, of course, but I guess I should have kept my mouth shut. Right? I’m not about to say here which candidate I was supporting, because I don’t want any more trouble. — Anonymous, Hillwood

If we know our manners, we don’t talk about politics at the dinner table. Out on the internet, they’re hard to swallow. Politics are personal. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, for good or ill, are public. When you posted your message — gentle-intentioned and carefully worded though it might have been — you stepped up as an open target on the shooting range. But you have no reason to take the responses personally. Your Facebook friends were probably weighing in, hoping to be heard and read, get their frustrations off their chests and use up their idle time. Like it or not, you really weren’t the center of attention. Your daughter seems to have been a good ally, but she may relish an internet battle. People whom you barely know can be your “friends” on Facebook, so, at least for the moment, it’s time to prune your list. Let’s hope you’ve learned a tough lesson: Say what you please and what you believe, but you don’t have to send it out into the ether. You can cut yourself out of this cutthroat mess. Just delete the whole discourse, and don’t do it again. Let the bloodletting go forward. If you really hate what you’ve stirred up, stay clear of the skirmish. You’re not likely to change anyone’s mind.

The Short Goodbye

One of my co-workers is retiring after years in our office, and I’ve been invited to a Zoom happy hour retirement party in his honor. I’m dreading it. Is it OK for me to skip it? Do I have an option? — Anonymous, Sylvan Park

What’s to dread? You can live through 15 minutes of celebration. Maybe you’ll have to shave, and maybe you need to. Dress codes are lax these days, especially in Zoom meetings. The party doesn’t have to be dressy, except from the waist up. You can just drop in, even if you’re not wearing pants. If you’re truly dreading the event (I’m not asking why), you have no reason to show up. You can just claim you were at another Zoom party. Maybe everybody will be impressed by your crowded schedule if they miss you. Go ahead and make a virtual appearance. If the group bursts into “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow,” you don’t have to sing along.