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My mother loved this time of year. But, since her passing, it just doesn’t seem the same. If you share similar feelings of grief, know that you’re not alone. The pressures of this season are enough to make anyone’s head spin. In fact, with this most wonderful time of year comes a great deal of stress for many Americans – 68% according to Harvard Medical School. It’s why behavioral therapist, Dr. Berrylin Mangin, says that knowing your worth and taking care of yourself are essential. Not only do these notions help you to enjoy the true spirit of the season, you’re also more likely to share your unique gifts with those who know and love you best.   

Dr. Mangin happens to be my therapist. This entire month has been what she calls “Know Your Worth November” where she assigns each of the four weeks with certain areas of self-care. To name a few areas upon which she suggests to direct your focus – mental and physical care started out the month, relational, spiritual, and environmental care in the middle, and finally will wrap up November with how to care well for others. 

When it comes to physical care, getting enough exercise, sleep, a healthful diet, and overall pampering are usual suspects. But, sometimes those acts of self-care just don’t seem to cut it. 

Ever feel like you’re spinning with stress? Dr. Mangin taught me that the vagus nerve is the body’s highway toward regulating such stress levels. Placing an ice pack to my chest where the nerve runs vertically, or lightly tapping my sternum with my fingertips until a sense of calm returns often does the trick. This one might be a game changer if, for example, your Aunt Gladys asks you when you are finally going to get married at the Thanksgiving dinner table.  

Another way holiday stress can show up is loneliness. That’s why relational care and the ways we care for others is so important. 

I used to enjoy giving Mamma “just because” flowers. So, when my local grocery store offers a BOGO sale on flower bouquets. I’ve made it a practice to give the extra one to a random mother figure in the store’s parking lot. As a truly cathartic experience, both she and I walk away with unexpected joy. The same goes for my holiday cards in which I write a personalized note of gratitude to each person and how they’ve made my life better this year. It’s small acts of kindness such as these that studies have shown reduce stress and anxiety even on an everyday Tuesday. 

As we enter this season of giving thanks, it is my sincere hope that the person you are most thankful for is you. Afterall, you are absolutely worthy of celebration.