Best Behavior: That'll Show 'Em

Pride of Place

A friend and I went to Sunday brunch a few weeks back. A couple of large parties were waiting to be seated. The restaurant was understaffed, so a server came to the host stand to try to figure out what to do. She chose a party of six, and a woman from the bigger group started shouting, “We were here first!” The server had no idea who had been waiting the longest. As she was leading the party to their table, the young woman, whose group didn’t get chosen, made a well-known obscene gesture. The server didn’t see it, but everybody else did. On the way to our table, I was tempted to stop by and give her my two cents and ask the 20-something, “Was that necessary?” But I didn’t. Should I have? — Anonymous, White Bridge Road

Her flip gesture (we all know what it looked like) got the impatient young woman all the attention she wanted and more than she deserved. The unforgivable behavior you witnessed was horrific, but I’ve seen worse. In New York, years ago, I was at an American Ballet Theatre performance. At intermission, I was waiting in line at the bar. A woman in front of me wasn’t happy at all. She ordered a cup of coffee, tasted it and flung it in the bartender’s face. Maybe the cream was sour. Who knows? Everyone was aghast, but nobody said a word to her. We watched as the bartender quietly wiped up the mess the woman had created. In ghastly moments such as this, it’s always best to let somebody clean up the mess. Don’t add to it. Somebody will likely be cleaning up after this little showoff for the rest of her life. Keep your distance. The rest of the world will, too, I bet.

The Right Crowd

A little over a year ago, my husband passed away. Because of COVID, I’ve had to spend a lot of time by myself — more than necessary — but I’m ready to get out and about now. I’ve asked a couple if I could join them for an upcoming fundraiser. My husband and I used to go to this party and sit at a table with them. I left a phone message and sent the wife an email, but I haven’t had any response. I understand that single women, widows or not, may not be very good company, but I don’t feel comfortable going on my own. Do I have to stay home? — Anonymous, Oak Hill

You took the initiative; that was the good, brave thing to do. If you’ve given the couple enough time to respond and haven’t heard a word, it’s time to get a little more industrious. You might ask other single women, another couple or, if you think it’s time, a man as your escort (not your date). No, you don’t have to go to parties by yourself. This will be your first night out in a while. Should you run into the nonresponders, be sure to say hello so they’ll know that you’ve worked out a deal for yourself. You’ll be in good company: your own.