Scratched and Scarred

A co-worker in my office has lost her beloved cat. (To be clear, I mean that the cat has died.) She was devoted to the cat and kept her picture on her desk. After the cat died, she posted a Facebook message, and lots of condolences poured in. None from me, if I may say so. The cat was cremated, and the woman held a burial ceremony in her backyard. For some reason, I was invited. I didn’t go. I’ve told her I’m sorry for her loss, but she’s still not speaking to me. She and I have to work together. What can I do to get our lives back to normal? — Anonymous, Brentwood

Some people are cat people; some people are not. I guess we know where you fall in that great dichotomy. For a cat lover, a cat can be a BFF for as long as time allows. For a kitty that’s passed, mourning time is required. But even when a human best friend is gone, there comes a time for the mourning to end. There’s no sorrow so deep that it needs to be brought into the office. If you’ve expressed your sincere compassion, you’ve done all you can do. You missed the burial, so that may take some time to heal over. Maybe you were closer to the cat than you knew. It’s back to work now. There’s no reason to dwell on the passed pet now. At least a new cat can be on the way. They may be easier to find than a human best friend. When the kitten arrives, ask to see selfies of the cat-loving co-worker with the kitty. I’m sure she’ll have some to share.

On Hold

I know that, in a phone conversation, it’s the responsibility of the person who made the call to bring it to an end. That makes sense to me, but what am I supposed to do with email conversations? I think I’ve said all I need to say, then another reply shows up. I feel that I have to say something more so I don’t seem rude. This keeps me sending smiley emojis back and forth. When’s the right time to stop talking? — Anonymous, Gallatin

It’s good of you to remember the old-fashioned rules about talking on the telephone. (You probably remember the rotary dial too.) If you made the call, it was your job to shut down the conversation. You were the one who called, and you knew the agenda of the moment. When you’d said all you had to say, you simply said goodbye and put down the receiver. (Remember the receiver?) Nobody got insulted. That was actual talking; virtual talking is another thing entirely. It’s tough to chitchat via email or Instagram, but it’s easy to leave bruised feelings floating around out on the internet. Let’s assume you’ve said what you meant to say, so close out the conversation with a “see you soon” or a “thank you.” (Remember those?) No tantalizing smiley faces are required. When the back-and-forth is done, it’s done. Nobody’s going to be left alone with the dreary dial tone. (Remember the dial tone?)