In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Nfocus asked our friend Jessica Baladad of Feel For Your Life to highlight ways we can ensure breast health and advocate for ourselves and our loved ones.
Your brain was designed to protect you from anything that threatens your survival.
Every function it performs is rooted in its drive to keep you alive. From physical hazards to emotional upheavals, the brain’s primary job to address dangerous stimuli is to preserve life.
News of a breast cancer diagnosis triggers the brain to confront a perceived threat. It immediately detects a vulnerability and tailors a response. You may...
- Feel inclined to reject — or question the legitimacy of — the diagnosis.
- Feel numb or blackout.
- Cry or get angry.
- Laugh.
Your reaction is neither right nor wrong.
As you come to terms with the information received, your feelings begin to interpret the diagnosis to help you process. Here are five feelings a breast cancer patient may experience throughout their diagnosis — and how they can be used as tools toward emotional healing in the midst of a medical crisis.
Fear
As an emotion: It’s the fight-flight-freeze response we learned about in Psychology 101.
As a tool: Fear tells us to plan, to prepare and to seek help. Upon receiving a diagnosis, develop a plan with your medical team, your family and your close friends. Prepare for what to expect based on your treatment plan, and ask about what will be beneficial for your recovery. Finally, ask for help. You may just want someone to keep you company, assist you with organizing or help with meals.
Anger
As an emotion: It’s often thought of as an emotionally charged feeling that creates immense energy.
As a tool: Anger is a signal that something is wrong, and it needs to change. You may experience anger in myriad of ways throughout your diagnosis, so — if it happens — channel what’s wrong in the moment and think about the resources available to you that may affect the outcome you would like to have.
Sadness
As an emotion: It can be seen as a heavy melancholy, filled with negativity and loss.
As a tool: Sadness provides us with the opportunity to reflect on what we’ve lost and reminds us of what we value. By recognizing the loss and the meaning it had in your life, you can take steps toward emotional healing. The life you knew before cancer has changed. You may lose your hair, your breasts, your sense of femininity — but honoring your sadness allows you to make a shift toward redefining your desired future.
Guilt
As an emotion: It may be interpreted as a feeling of distress, arising when someone feels a “badness” because they may have done something wrong.
As a tool: In regards to breast cancer, guilt recognizes that something bad has happened, and — though you may blame yourself for your diagnosis — working through it provides you with the opportunity to forgive yourself and show yourself kindness. Avoid falling into a cycle of “what-ifs” from the past. Instead, recognize that you have control of your decisions now and in the future.
Shame
As an emotion: Similar to guilt, shame can be seen as an internal “badness” we feel about ourselves.
As a tool: Much like guilt, using shame as a tool allows you to recognize the misalignment between how you feel about yourself and reality. It creates movement toward being comfortable in your vulnerability and offers you space to show yourself compassion. Examine your negative self-perceptions, and look for patterns of distorted thinking. Be mindful of how you use the word “should,” and reframe your beliefs with grace.
A breast cancer diagnosis can disrupt your life and present challenges you never expected to confront. At the same time, it highlights other aspects that you may not have considered while exposing vulnerabilities you weren’t aware of. Breast cancer is physically draining and emotionally taxing at the same time. Honor your feelings, challenge the negative perceptions and set boundaries that bring you peace.
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